Top 10 Reasons to Hate USC

10. Conquest and Fight On

9. Their metrosexual, ballroom dancing, former quarterback is friends with Nick Lachey.

8. That stupid fucking horse!

7. Hold me closer, tiny dancer.

6. The Trojan warriors, like the Spartans, had homosexual relationships with young apprentices.

5. Paris abducted Helen.

4. Pac-10 officials (see 1964, 1977, 1982, and 2005)

3. OJ Simpson, Snoop Dog, and Pete Carroll

2. Even the Pope says that wearing Trojans sucks.

1. FUSC!

Top 10 reasons to love USC

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2. The Decade of Dominance

1. Song girls!

ND is Athens’ Achilles to Troy’s Hector. Their rotting carcass will be pulled by an Irish chariot.